A call to Mothers & Daughters: This process requires a relationship. You must be consistently, actively, and intimately involved in their lives.
To Daughters: May I urge you not to resist your mom’s involvement in your life? If you have built a moat around your heart, you have not cut off an enemy but a friend. A friend who has the essential tools you need to navigate throughout your years. Your mom isn’t perfect, but I am almost certain she is lovingly committed to being your friend so that she can lead you in the ways of the Lord.
To Mothers: I can imagine you responding out loud to me as you read this. “I’m convinced that I need to be involved in my daughter’s life. I want to be a faithful mom, but she won’t let me get close to her. What am I to do?” I don’t pretend to hold the key to a girl’s heart, but I know the one who does. As mothers you must appeal directly to the throne of our almighty God. Proverbs 21:1 discloses: “The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord; he guides it wherever he pleases.” The sovereign God holds your daughters’ hearts in His hand. No moat or barrier is too difficult for Him to overcome. Prayer is a key to accessing your daughter’s heart.
To earn this friendship, you must first earn their trust. You must approach this relationship with humility and ask questions. You can’t assume that you know the reasons they may keep you at arm’s length. Maybe you have unwittingly offended them, or they are bitter over a decision you have made. In many cases their hearts may have grown proud.
Discuss why rejecting each other is displeasing to God and would be detrimental for your relationship. Tell them again and again how much you love them and that you are eager to be their friend. Have these conversations repeatedly over a period of time, until God’s grace begins to breakthrough to their hearts. Communication is indispensable in building a friendship with them.
I encourage you all, make the Mother-Daughter relationship one of our highest priorities. After your relationship with God and your spouse, nothing should receive more attention, focus, and time.
I know that this intentional relationship requires exceptional sacrifice. But God will give you ample strength as you look to Him. “The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”
And although you may not be able to spend a lot of time with them, He will graciously multiply your efforts to teach them the language of biblical womanhood. “Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
My mother and I had an incredible relationship. One of trust, openness, laughter and strength. I pray you all can experience this type of relationship. Work hard at it, it is worth it. To this day, my mother will always be my best friend. Her words, her kindness and her love resonates with me always.